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Month: April, 2017

Mastering the Art of the Booty Call

I need you to pay attention to the title of this article. I did not say "the science" of the booty call. I did not say the "mathematics" of the booty call. And I definitely did not say the "legalities" of the booty call. I used the word "art" because that’s what hooking up is really all about.

If meeting members of the opposite sex and banging them can be reduced to some sort of science, wouldn’t you think that our society would be a little bit different? Wouldn’t you think that this set of predictable scientific facts would have been incorporated in our history as well as in our everyday culture? It isn’t. In fact, I would have argued that it’s impossible because the whole idea behind the booty call is that it’s really all about interpersonal relationships.

Whenever you have two different people in the same room or in the same space, all hell could break loose and all heaven can break loose. In other words, it’s different each time. Even if you’re with a woman for half your life, there’s still a possibility that you won’t see eye to eye. There’s still a possibility that things may break loose and there might be certain exchanges. That kind of thing. This is what makes relationships awesome.

You know you’re in trouble if your relationship fits a particular predictable pattern. It’s like it’s the same stuff day in, day out. I don’t about you, but most guys can’t hang with the same shit day in, day out. The reason why people who remain married for decades remain married is because they are able to tap into the sense of the unknown in their relationship. They look at their partner as this flower where, if you take the petals off, there are other petals beneath and there’s a rich layer of patterns that you just can’t absorb at one sitting. In fact, it takes a whole lifetime to fully discover their many different sides.

I bring this all up because they highlight the fact that the booty call is an art. You have to pay attention to context. You have to understand how serendipity works. You have to learn how to read people’s signals. It’s all an art form.

My impression of dating is that it’s like being at a jazz concert. If you’ve been to a jazz gig, you’d know that the performers would feel vibes from the audience, and then they would bounce back these vibes to the audience. What’s created is a call and response pattern which leads to greater and greater randomly inspired music. That’s what’s awesome about jazz because it’s all about the moment.

If you want to master your booty call game on , focus on the moment. Stop reading too much into what she’s doing. Stop trying to fit her into a template and definitely stop trying to follow some sort of checklist. Just paying attention to the moment and letting your passion lead you can lead to better results.